On some days the emptiness in the absence of your relationship can feel so heavy. Loneliness is one of the most difficult emotions to cope with after a breakup. Not because it’s a singular experience–you’ve likely heard of the loneliness epidemic–but because when you’re heartbroken, there’s only one person you long for to fill that void of loneliness.
For me, it was on Friday nights when I most felt a wave of loneliness wash over me. Those little routines you develop over time in a relationship hit you hard after a breakup. Friday nights were our nights. After the breakup, I found Fridays to be the most difficult to get through–I wrote all about it here. On other days pangs of loneliness would come and go, but Friday nights hit different.
It was on those days that the loneliness would settle in. Fighting it off felt like an impossible task when I thought the only solution to alleviate the loneliness was the very reason I was feeling it to begin with. But that’s the thing with post-breakup loneliness…you wish your ex could swoop in and take away that feeling, but that’s not the only solution. In fact, if you’re really committed to mending, that’s not even a solution.
I found a few solutions that ended up working much better for me, one of which made the biggest impact: I sat with the loneliness. I learned to comfort myself. I spent those lonely moments in deep reflection, journaling my thoughts, and feeling it all. Doing this allowed me to properly grieve the relationship. I was able to come to peace with all the “whys” and “what ifs” that plagued me. It built up my resilience in a way nothing else had.
I met myself so deeply through this part of my mending journey, and that felt amazing. The loneliness is worth it when you lean all the way into it and come out on the other side. And you will come out on the other side, better than before.
In the meantime, when the loneliness feels too heavy to carry on your own, remember that this community is here for you–you can always drop us a note in the subscriber chat.
With love,
Kat