It’s Thanksgiving this week in the U.S. and, like every year, I have mixed feelings about this ritual. I usually look forward to gathering with loved ones and friends. In my family, Thanksgiving means eating delicious mole and pumpkin pie. It also usually means a bigger break is just around the corner. A new year is coming.
There are always two sides to one coin though. My Mema (my dad’s mother) is Ojibwe and was born and raised on a reservation in North Dakota. She was one of the many First American children sent away from their families to an Indian Boarding School where they were stripped of their traditions. There are so many details that no one in my family will ever know because it’s not something that she talks about. Many of those children were traumatized, abused and some died from the separation. If you don’t know about Indian Boarding Schools spend some time this week reading about them. It’s not something I learned about in school, that’s for sure.
I think about what my Mema is not saying almost every day, and it’s of course an especially tender spot when something like Thanksgiving comes up. As a mixed race American, how do I navigate it? Should I try to maintain this ritual? I’ve always struggled with this, and it gets harder every year as my own journey inward continues. This year when I saw “Thanksgiving newsletter” on my to-do list I knew I couldn’t just talk about gratitude.
I know that this day is no longer about the saccharine Thanksgiving myth I was taught in elementary school while wearing a paper headdress. The true story of the arrival of the pilgrims is violent, gruesome and deadly. That’s why the shadow side of Thanksgiving will never go away. It shouldn’t.
For many First Americans, Thanksgiving is a day of mourning. While one group of Americans is roasting turkey and making stuffing, another group of Americans is mourning the genocide that began when white Europeans colonized a place that had been inhabited for 15,000 years.
It reminds me of what Dave Chapelle said on SNL after the election: while many are celebrating, don’t forget that there are just as many Americans (73 million of them) who feel terrible. Just like 2016. Two sides of the same coin.
In a dark twist, the day after Thanksgiving is Native American Heritage Day...that’s right, also known as Black Friday, the same day thousands of Americans camp outside of Best Buy to get a larger television. The juxtaposition of these two is gut wrenching.
So I’d like to propose a few Black Friday alternatives.
First, support a Native non-profit in honor of Native American Heritage Day.
If you’re not sure where to start, how about the National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition, The Indigenous Environmental Network or The Native Voter Fund, which supports 15 Native-led organizer groups.
Also, instead of handing more money to Jeff Bezos - who, by the way, is making $150,000 a minute by exploiting thousands of workers and Mother Earth - support your local small businesses. They need your help this year. Choose click & collect over Prime. Small businesses have great sales too. At Mend, we’re offering 50% off our gift cards (use code GOWITHIN.)
I’ve gone back and forth with several friends who also run companies, and we’ve been talking about what it’s like to write a newsletter in 2020. In short, it’s weird. Do we talk about covid? What else is there to say? Do we bring up politics? Do we address whatever headline is making waves that week? Do we just ignore it all and promote our own business?
Who knows. I’ve decreased the frequency of these newsletters and that feels good. I try to just be as honest as possible and share where I am at the moment when I sit down to write. I assume you’d prefer honesty over anything else. I’m assuming you also might be feeling the way I’m feeling: tired of all the noise. This year has been exhausting. And while the forced slow down has had some upsides, I am feeling the weight of this year as we move into the holiday season.
So, take care of yourselves and each other, and let’s not forget about the other side of the coin.
Thanksgiving: two sides of the same coin