I’ve been in Nashville for the past few days on a friend's trip. It’s my first time visiting this city and my first time vacationing with my boyfriend’s friend group, who now feel like family. I’ll always remember this city for this bonding experience. That’s the thing with places. They hold meaning. And that can be a beautiful thing…if you choose to see it that way.
After a breakup, that gets tricky. You have a lot of places that remind you of your ex and that can be painful. When you’re trying to recover from heartbreak, going to the spots that you frequented with your ex isn’t super helpful to the mending process. At some point in the future you’ll be able to reclaim those places. But in the meantime, it’s a better time than ever to create your own places.
I’ve been thinking about places a lot because they play such a critical role in every healing journey. The energy of a place can hold you back or propel you forward and you can use this to your advantage. I remember as I was working through a funk many years ago, I felt this pull to move to LA. One thing after another sort of just fell in place and I ended up moving out there. My time living on the West Coast was so transformative for me. It was exactly the reset I needed at that point in my life. I learned so much about myself and experienced an insane amount of personal growth (and professional growth too!). It’s why LA always hold a special place in my heart.
But you don’t have to pick up and move in order to experience the positive effects of a place. It can be as simple as discovering local spots you’ve never visited before or taking a day trip somewhere new to you that’s within driving distance. Consider finding somewhere that becomes your place of peace–a spot that helps you get centered, present, and calm. For me, that’s a park I enjoy going for walks at that I wrote about here. When your grief heightens, you can activate the energy of your peaceful place by going there.
Changing your environment is a great pattern interrupt that doesn’t get celebrated enough. Much like a song or a scent has the power to transport your mind, a place can too. Prioritize finding your own places and creating positive experiences for yourself there. Then use that to your benefit when mending gets hard. It’s one of the most accessible self-care tools you can add to your toolkit.
If you already have some places that have been playing a positive role on your post-breakup healing journey, I’d love to hear all about them. Send me an email or drop a comment in the Substack chat!
With love,
Kat